“Dance Moms: Out With the Old, In With the New” Recap

It’s official, times are a-changin’ on “Dance Moms” this week. New moms, new dancers, new rival studios—it’s getting a little hard to keep track! To help you out, I’ve compiled the three most awesome—and three most awkward—moments from the latest episode.

AWKWARD
The moms’ strategy to get Kelly back to the studio. Because they spend way too much time with their daughters, it appears the moms have reverted back to fourth grade, and have decided to give Abby the silent treatment. Melissa even hides behind her Sweet Tarts box so Abby can’t see her. Abby is confused. I’m confused, too. Why would that bring Kelly back? Didn’t Kelly decide to leave on her own? And most importantly, who’s watching all the children while the moms are busy silently loitering in Abby’s parking lot?!?!

AWESOME
Everybody’s replaced. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the little cuties that usually make up ALDC, but it’s nice to see Abby finally put her money where her mouth is. We’ve certainly heard her say, “Everyone’s replaceable,” enough times. Plus, these new girls are mega-talented! We knew Ally was phenomenal, but with the addition of Bella and Kaeli, she looks even better (and fits in better height-wise). An excellent threesome, but we’re told another kid is on her way…

AWKWARD
Enter Sophia, the “Maddie replacement.” Let’s hold off talking about her dancing for a minute and focus on her voice. Unless Mom Jackie is married to Mickey Mouse, there’s no way that’s natural, right? But even after Abby makes fun of her high, squeaky pitch, she sticks to it. I guess she’s not faking it…Until later, alone in the confessional, her voice suddenly sounds perfectly normal. Something fishy is going on here. I smell a publicity stunt.

AWESOME
I wish Abby hadn’t felt the need to hype Sophia’s dancing up as much as she did. Truth is, it was unnecessary. This girl’s talent speaks for herself. And her solo? I still can’t get over those fouettés. Just for fun, check out this clip of her pirouetting on “Ellen”:

AWKWARD
A new rival dance-studio owner is emerging, and it’s Yvette, the dance mom we loved to hate (but mostly hated) on “Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition.” Yvette’s daughter is Hadley, who Abby infamously referred to as “road kill” back in L.A. She’s got a grudge, and she’s out for blood. But does this mean our old rival is out of the picture? Don’t get too excited. In a strange, unnecessary clip this week, Mom Jill is “in the area”, so she stops by Candy Apples to have an uncomfortable conversation with Krazy Kathy. Ohio is in the same “area” as Pittsburgh, right?

AWESOME
The old ALDC girls band together for a mall performance. They choreographed it themselves and the moms put out the word, but will anyone come? Obviously. The mall goes insane! They might as well have been One Direction for the number of crazed teenage fans packing the place and shoving their iPhone cameras in each other’s faces. The dancers did one routine on a makeshift stage, and, while it was cute, it was not up to their normal high caliber. It’s nice to see them having some fun, but Mom Holly admits, “The girls need discipline. They need a dance teacher.” Well, duh.

And now, the QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“Hadley wasn’t exactly road kill. She was just the road, and Sophia drove right over her.” —Abby

I guess Abby feels really bad about that road kill comment. You showed her, Hadley. Oh wait, no you didn’t. Better luck next time.

The suspense is killing me for the next episode. Who will still be a member of ALDC? The new girls only got second place, so will Abby kick them to the curb? And what will the poor old dancers we love do without a teacher?! Check back here next week for another recap.