Dear Katie: My Dance Friends Are Mean to Me at School!
In our “Dear Katie” series, former NYCB soloist Kathryn Morgan answers your pressing dance questions. Have something you want to ask Katie? Email
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I go to the same high school as two girls from my dance studio. They’re really friendly with me in dance class, but at school, they’re completely different—they either ignore me or make fun of me. It’s so confusing and upsetting. How can I deal with their two-faced behavior?
Even good friendships can be complicated, but it sounds like these girls aren’t true friends. I’d suggest dealing with them carefully. Always be friendly and polite, but don’t waste energy trying to understand their motives. Think of them as acquaintances, not allies. If their cattiness starts to bleed into your studio relationship, and they try to gossip with you about other girls in dance class, don’t engage with them.
Hard as it is, try not to take their nastiness personally. Two-faced people are usually very insecure. Frequently their negativity stems from jealousy, or from a need to put others down to make themselves feel better. Stand tall and be proud of who you are.