SpongeBob SquarePants on Broadway?

February 28, 2015

He lives in a pineapple under the sea, and now (it’s rumored) he has his sights set on the Great White Way. That’s right, SpongeBob SquarePants the Musical is in the works. Whether or not it will actually make it to Broadway is another question, but Nickelodeon confirmed with Entertainment Weekly that Broadway is the goal.

So far, we know Tina Landau (Big Love) will direct and the original score will have contributions from big names like Aerosmith, T.I., Sara Bareilles, Lady Antebellum and John Legend.

But here’s what we’re thinking: SpongeBob LOVES to dance, right? So…wouldn’t that mean a musical in his honor should be jam-packed with show-stopping choreography? Since the production is still very much in the works, we figured we’d take the time to make a few…choreographic suggestions. Here goes nothing:

1. Start with a casual boogie to get things warmed up.

2. Give the audience what it expects with a crowd-pleasing SpongeBob wave. (That smize though.)

3. Introduce the leading lady with a classic layout–toe-touch–split combo. (Fishnets not optional.)

4. Bring in the sinister yet loveable villain with…umm…whatever you would call this dance.

5. Incorporate some balletic elements, so everyone knows it’s legit.

6. But keep things street with a little high-stepping.

7. Take choreographic inspiration from costume changes…

…and props.

8. Let things get ’70s psychedelic for a bit.

9. Don’t forget to bring in the band.

10. And, of course, you’re gonna need to bring it aroooooouuuuund tooooown.

I expect choreographic credit in the playbill notes. #yourewelcome