"SYTYCD" Season 7: Top 4 Results

OK, look. We love the all-stars. We want to make babies with Ade and/or Kathryn. (And sidenote: Boy, would they make some BEAUTIFUL dance babies together.) But why did the opening number for last night’s results show involve ONLY all-stars? Isn’t the emphasis supposed to be on the finalists, especially at this point in the competition? Maybe the producers wanted to give the contestants a break to stem the tide of injuries, but it just seemed…wrong. Oh, and the routine itself was boring. We think it was about epileptic midwestern pioneers. Or something.

In fact, we were underwhelmed by a lot of this results episode. The finalists’ solos were…fine. But nothing killed us the way Billy’s solo did last week. Flo Rida was, you know, Flo Rida, which, meh. (But the all-stars looked great backing him up—and we think THAT’S where they really belong on this show. They get their moment in the spotlight without stealing it.) And Desmond Richardson’s performance was SO FRUSTRATING. You’re one of the best darn ballet dancers in the WORLD, Desmond! Don’t try to be a “SYTYCD”-er just because you’re on “SYTYCD.” Most of the contestants have been doing that comp-comm style their whole lives, and frankly, they can do it better than you can. Bust out some sick ballet! And find the other half of your suit.

But enough grumpiness. What DID we like? Actually, it was a who: Janelle Monáe, the be-pompadoured guest performer who blew us away with a soulful rendition of her single, “Tightrope.” Janelle is rocking an androgynous, retro-chic look and sound—think a modern James (Jamie?) Brown—and we love it. We also adored her funky backup dancers, sliding and gliding in their saddle shoes and highwater pants. This act is going places.

Anyway, the right person—Adéchiké—went home, to pretty much no one’s surprise. We’re looking forward to the end of the madness next week, when apparently there’ll be some kind of NASA involvement (whaaaa?), another Nigel tap routine (blahhhh) and a re-creation of the tWitch/Alex hip hop piece with a “dance legend” standing in for Mr. Wong (whoooo?). Check back on Thursday for our recap!