"Dancing with the Stars" Recap: Season 11, Week 3 Elimination

Usually, we spend a few hours sifting through our incomprehensible “DWTS” notes before piecing together some kind of semi-coherent recap. But there are some nights when our stream-of-consciousness notetaking is pretty much on the nose. We think last night was one of those nights; and thus, without further ado, we present our [spell-checked but otherwise unaltered] transcript:

Karina and The Situation are doing their awkward time warp foxtrot again. Nope.

WHY ARE KYLE AND LACEY THE FIRST IN JEOPARDY?? boo. hiss.

Performance by Ne-Yo. We love it when they get singers who can MOVE on the show! Makes so much sense, but is weirdly so rare. Routine is hot. Sad, however, that they brought their own peeps instead of using the “DWTS” pros as backup dancers. Who is the rando girl that Ne-Yo is all up ons? Is she even a dancer?

Next in jeopardy: Cheryl and Rick. Poor Cheryl gets faked out and thinks they’re safe. (“I thought you were taking that really well,” Tom quips, and gets booed.)

Mark Ballas (guitar) and Val Chmerkovskiy (violin) are having a  musical duel?? Ew. This is silly. And melodramatic. Val’s violin is nails-on-a-chalkboard screechy. Here come the ladies–oh, phew, they’re transitioning to dancing! If this is really actually a competition, we give the win to Mark, especially considering his sweet electric guitar solo at the end there.

Michael Bolton: Please stop butchering songs we used to love. And the children’s choir? Necessary? Love the dreamy waltz on the fog-filled stage, though. More dancing and less awkward singing, s’il vous plaît.

Flo and The Situation are safe, yay. Kyle and Lacey are safe, YAY.

Going home: Margaret and Louis. Sadly predictable. Margaret thinks the judges were really hard on her because they know she’s “a dancer for real.” Huh?

…aaand that’s all she (we) wrote. Check back next Tuesday for our recap of week 4’s performances!